James Kilgarriff’s Weblog

There is a tremendous power in the process of asking questions. Questions hook the mind.The key is to ask the right kind of questions not only with others but also towards yourself.

When I coach clients I hear comments like “why am I so unlucky with partners?” or “Why am I always investing in the wrong area?”. What do you think these kinds of questions elicit?

When I consider these questions  I can just imagine unlucky situations with partners or feeling scared about making the right investment in case I get it wrong again.

Remember, questions hook the mind. What you say to yourself you become.

Asking questions from a resourceful place can literally change your life. Like “What is good about the fact that I have not found the right partner yet?” This questions then elicits “good” aspects like:

I am enjoying my freedom before I meet the right partner. I have realised what I don ´t want in a partner and now I am focusing on all the great things I want in a partner. It could be that its been a blessing rather than “bad luck” so far before my ideal partner shows up. Get the drift?

So asking questions that elicit  supportive or positive responses helps you to change the way you think and feel and when you change the way you think and feel gradually the world out there shifts based on the stories and scenarios you are painting within your mind.

I believe that nothing has meaning except the meaning I give it. I choose to create a meaningful life based on stories and life situations that support and help me in my journey and asking the right questions are part of this important process of growth and happiness.

Remember, you become your questions.