James Kilgarriff’s Weblog

When I look at how many goal setting programs focus on doing something or having something new that you currently don´t have, I find the crucial part missing in all of this  is “who am I becoming in the process?”.

Jim Rohn, one of America´s most respected personal development teachers really builds on this aspect of living a better life. He proposes that people set a goal on making $1 million. This is not just about having a ton of money. The crucial part of this is to ask “who am I becoming in the process of making this money” more than “what am I getting”.

Setting a big goal like this is about how you will evolve as a person rather than the thing itself.

The process for many people towards having a better life is based on the “do then have then be” principle. This can be a recipe for disappointment and emptiness. I know, because I have tried this.

Instead, consider the idea of  Be, then do, then have. By being the person you want to become will start the synchronisation process of attracting into your life not only the person you want to be but also the stuff that comes with it.

“Be that which you want..now”.

I was listening to a radio interview the other day and I really liked this comment:

“Pay more attention on what you want to become and less on what you want to overcome”.

I don´t know about you but sometimes when I have a challenge or a problem I can spend so much energy trying to overcome it and so focus too much on the problem that I lose sight of who I want to be on the other side of the problem.

I suggest that when a challenge arises in your life, acknowledge it and remind yourself of the person you want to be or become beyond the challenge you currently face.

Feeling in a stuck situation  has been a major challenge for me over a long period of time and feeling stuck can be one of the most challenging places to be and at the same time it can be a major life lesson.

When I have been stuck I notice that different parts of me are in conflict and one of the ways to get unstuck is to acknowledge and respect this space and bring in other parts of me that are creative to help to resolve the conflict.

This is not a magic pill for getting unstuck, however, it is a way to begin to accept parts of yourself and to become more aware. When there is full awareness of a condition such as this, there is also the opportunity to begin to let it go and gradually move forward.

So here are some steps..

1) Accept and allow the feeling of stuckness to be in your life in an open and accepting way. Don´t try to get rid of it or push it away. Treat it like a separate person and dialogue with that part of you and ask questions such as  “why are you in my life right now?” or “what do you need” or “what messages do you have for me that I need to understand”?

2) Bring in a creative aspect of yourself. Make it up if you have to. Imagine a wise and creative side of you suggesting some new options or new ways of seeing that will also help that stuck part to relax and to open to a new way of seeing.

3) If that stuck part does not want to move then respect it and be with it and know that there is a very good reason for this and when you understand why it is in your life, that stuck feeling will begin to move on

4) Also know that no condition is permanent and in time things will move and change. So patience may be a factor in going beyond a stuck phase. Say to yourself  “this, too, shall pass”.

5) Acknowledge yourself for being willing to dialogue with these parts of yourself. By starting this process, you have begun the letting go process which will change when you least expect it.

This theme deserves a book, however, by applying these simple steps above will go along way to help melt the stuckness and begin to welcome more flow in your life.

One thing I have noticed with people launching into learning the Law of Attraction is that many do this without full awareness of their intentions. Above everything else, awareness is the key to lasting change and the good news is that it is something that each of us have and will always have.

What do I mean by awareness?

Awareness is the ability to notice, to observe what you are thinking, feeling and behaving as if you are watching a stranger. This process is done with openness and without judgement.

Let´s relate this to the Law of Attraction. For example, I want to set a desire to have $100,000. This can be a good intention, however, I need to be aware of where is this intention coming from and what is my motive.

If I notice I am feeling alot of fear that I don´t have money or I want the money to look good in other people´s eyes then this motive is coming from an ego perspective and the chances are the journey towards attracting this money could be fraught with stress and anxiety because the root emotion is fear.

Do you see how awareness plays an important role in this process?

It is all about noticing, witness without analysing. In my example above I noticed the emotion of fear in the process of deciding what I want.

If, however, I notice that I feel expansion in my body, enthusiasm and expectation when I set the goal to attract $100,000 then awareness is pointing me towards supportive energies that will give me a great start in the process of attracting the people, information and events that will support me in achieving my goal.

Whatever your situation and wherever you are, you can build the muscle of Awareness today. Start noticing the small things by beginning the process of stepping outside yourself and notice how you think, talk, act and behave – without judgement or condemnation.

Make this fun and don´t get stressed out in getting this awareness thing right first time. Its like riding a bike, its takes time and a few tries before it becomes more of a natural part of your life.

The process is liberating and can bring you more peace and understanding.