James Kilgarriff’s Weblog

Recently I have been giving my power away to a whole host of excuses for not getting on with my life and projects.  As a result I have made a study into this to begin to undo these habits one by one.

All excuses are mental habit patterns formed in the subconscious. When they are given power by our our thinking they grow and grow and then these very excuses can take us out in whatever project we care to start.

As a result we see life as a struggle and see the Universe as against us as opposed to for us. What really is happening is that the thinking habits which manifest in the form of excuses are the things against us and so we struggle.

Life is 100% for each of us and this is an important insight to begin the excuses clearing process.

Here are a few excuses…

I am too old, I have left it too late, the economy is bad and so there are no opportunities out there, I always seem to be unlucky, this is too difficult, it will take me too much time and so on.

Now Think of one excuse you have been putting up with.

What would life be like if that excuses is no longer a part of your life?

How would you feel if this excuse was no longer in your life?

What options lay before you as you imagine you are free of this excuse?

Perhaps you can ponder these questions and write down some thoughts around imagining the excuse you have is no longer operating and you can see with new eyes.

Begin to imagine life without excuses and enjoy the ride.

Are you willing to change? When I am confronted with this question my initial answer is “sure”, however, when I dig a little deeper I realise that there are excuses and resistance running wild that need to be identified and released.

Whether it is a job change, a health change, a relationship or a change in my finances or just the decision to take full responsibility for my circumstances it all  starts with a willingness to change.

I may not be ready to change something or I may have resistance to change an aspect of my life. However, for any change to take place there has to be a willingness to take back any blame for what may or may not have happened and that also means not blaming oneself.

For example,  I made  a property investment a few years ago and soon after spent alot of time blaming myself and the real estate agent for advising me in the wrong way as the property prices did not go up as I expected.  However, as soon as I gave up the blame game and took full responsibility for this and was willing to see this differently things shifted and within a couple of months I sold the property  in spite of the housing market down turn.

It started with a willingeness to change and take responsibility and from there my energy shifted in a supportive and positive way. My behaviour and actions reflected in this decision.

This whole process can start by making a sincere declaration such as “I am willing to change this”.  Say it in the mirror for 5 minutes and with conviction and intensity.  Say it with heart.

Let go of the outcome and be willing to change your thoughts or actions about whatever you are want to change in your life.

When I look at how many goal setting programs focus on doing something or having something new that you currently don´t have, I find the crucial part missing in all of this  is “who am I becoming in the process?”.

Jim Rohn, one of America´s most respected personal development teachers really builds on this aspect of living a better life. He proposes that people set a goal on making $1 million. This is not just about having a ton of money. The crucial part of this is to ask “who am I becoming in the process of making this money” more than “what am I getting”.

Setting a big goal like this is about how you will evolve as a person rather than the thing itself.

The process for many people towards having a better life is based on the “do then have then be” principle. This can be a recipe for disappointment and emptiness. I know, because I have tried this.

Instead, consider the idea of  Be, then do, then have. By being the person you want to become will start the synchronisation process of attracting into your life not only the person you want to be but also the stuff that comes with it.

“Be that which you want..now”.

I was listening to a radio interview the other day and I really liked this comment:

“Pay more attention on what you want to become and less on what you want to overcome”.

I don´t know about you but sometimes when I have a challenge or a problem I can spend so much energy trying to overcome it and so focus too much on the problem that I lose sight of who I want to be on the other side of the problem.

I suggest that when a challenge arises in your life, acknowledge it and remind yourself of the person you want to be or become beyond the challenge you currently face.

Feeling in a stuck situation  has been a major challenge for me over a long period of time and feeling stuck can be one of the most challenging places to be and at the same time it can be a major life lesson.

When I have been stuck I notice that different parts of me are in conflict and one of the ways to get unstuck is to acknowledge and respect this space and bring in other parts of me that are creative to help to resolve the conflict.

This is not a magic pill for getting unstuck, however, it is a way to begin to accept parts of yourself and to become more aware. When there is full awareness of a condition such as this, there is also the opportunity to begin to let it go and gradually move forward.

So here are some steps..

1) Accept and allow the feeling of stuckness to be in your life in an open and accepting way. Don´t try to get rid of it or push it away. Treat it like a separate person and dialogue with that part of you and ask questions such as  “why are you in my life right now?” or “what do you need” or “what messages do you have for me that I need to understand”?

2) Bring in a creative aspect of yourself. Make it up if you have to. Imagine a wise and creative side of you suggesting some new options or new ways of seeing that will also help that stuck part to relax and to open to a new way of seeing.

3) If that stuck part does not want to move then respect it and be with it and know that there is a very good reason for this and when you understand why it is in your life, that stuck feeling will begin to move on

4) Also know that no condition is permanent and in time things will move and change. So patience may be a factor in going beyond a stuck phase. Say to yourself  “this, too, shall pass”.

5) Acknowledge yourself for being willing to dialogue with these parts of yourself. By starting this process, you have begun the letting go process which will change when you least expect it.

This theme deserves a book, however, by applying these simple steps above will go along way to help melt the stuckness and begin to welcome more flow in your life.

One thing I have noticed with people launching into learning the Law of Attraction is that many do this without full awareness of their intentions. Above everything else, awareness is the key to lasting change and the good news is that it is something that each of us have and will always have.

What do I mean by awareness?

Awareness is the ability to notice, to observe what you are thinking, feeling and behaving as if you are watching a stranger. This process is done with openness and without judgement.

Let´s relate this to the Law of Attraction. For example, I want to set a desire to have $100,000. This can be a good intention, however, I need to be aware of where is this intention coming from and what is my motive.

If I notice I am feeling alot of fear that I don´t have money or I want the money to look good in other people´s eyes then this motive is coming from an ego perspective and the chances are the journey towards attracting this money could be fraught with stress and anxiety because the root emotion is fear.

Do you see how awareness plays an important role in this process?

It is all about noticing, witness without analysing. In my example above I noticed the emotion of fear in the process of deciding what I want.

If, however, I notice that I feel expansion in my body, enthusiasm and expectation when I set the goal to attract $100,000 then awareness is pointing me towards supportive energies that will give me a great start in the process of attracting the people, information and events that will support me in achieving my goal.

Whatever your situation and wherever you are, you can build the muscle of Awareness today. Start noticing the small things by beginning the process of stepping outside yourself and notice how you think, talk, act and behave – without judgement or condemnation.

Make this fun and don´t get stressed out in getting this awareness thing right first time. Its like riding a bike, its takes time and a few tries before it becomes more of a natural part of your life.

The process is liberating and can bring you more peace and understanding.

Working with the Law of Attraction requires an understanding of the finer aspects of the Law. So many people who get inspired by the Law are trying to get somewhere and are very much future focused.

Attraction only ever happens in the now. This is because the Law of Attraction has neither a present nor a  past – it works on vibrationary levels and you are always vibrating or emitting energy like Now.

So when a person imagines wanting the new car, relationship or house they can set it up in their minds that it will come at some future time. The trick is to flip perception as if it is already granted now or a now experience.

This can be a tough one to accept because if I intend for $10,000 and I come from a Now experience a bag of money just does not fall on my head. It does require a space time process in order to build the vibration to match the desire.

This also involves clearing away any mental negative static and blockers so as to free up energy to vibrationally match the desire you intend.

Also action is part of this formula. As Einstein once said “nothing happens until something moves”.

So if you have a goal or desire begin to see it as already in material form and focus on that intention frequently until the vibration of your desire matches the vibration of the end result.

Like all things, this requires practice and discipline to build the vibrational muscle and is not a magic pill subscription to solve all your challenges in one day.