James Kilgarriff’s Weblog

Knowing your values help you attract the life you want because values are the engine room of your being that motivate you in a specific direction.

Many goal setting methods miss this vital part of the process in accomplishing your dreams and goals. Also people who study and apply the law of attraction seem to have very little awareness of this often missed aspect that is a vital part of one´s character.

I know of people who have obsessed about making $1 million and have neglected other aspects of thier lives such as health, friends, family, joy and so on. As a result those people get the money and in the process lose contact with loved ones or a serious health problem shows up in the process of making the big bucks.

I am all for making alot of money however the key is to recognise that in addition to the value of wealth I have other values that need to be given air space each day. Having a clear values system makes my decision process easier and life flows so much better.

I would suggest that before you write your goals, think about your values. In other words the things that are really important to you. Once you have a list then match your goals in with the values or change the framing of the goals so that values are aligned.

As an example, here is a list of values:

Health, Joy,Integrity,family,passion,wealth, contribution.

So if I am to aim at making alot of money (wealth value), I will also ensure that I have  specific goals or intentions to work on my health, have fun, spend time with the family each week and live each day with passion.

I may have set a goal to make $1 million,  however to include the the other values of my life I may have to adjust that figure so that the other areas are given time and attention or find another way that is balanced to generate that wealth.

If you are deciding on your goals and intentions for the future then consider creating a list of your values and by focusing on this list your values help you attract the life you want.

What if you could start from a point of considering what you dont want as a way to gain some clarity in your life?

The biggest obstacle that most people have is that they are not clear on what they want. For some it can it can be a long soul searching experience and for a few it seems graceful and easy.

What I have found is that when I try to focus on what I want there seems to be inner blockages that prevent me from getting clear. This is becuause on a sub conscious level we are focusing on what we dont want or have some deep seated beliefs or excuses that get in the way.

This simple excercise may help you to clarify some of the issues about getting clear:

Take a piece of clean paper and draw a line down the middle. On the top left write “What I dont want or dont like” and on the top right of the paper write “what I want or like”.

Think of a theme like going on a vacation.

List on the left side of the paper list all the things you dont want in terms of going on a vacation. For example: “I dont want to be in a crowed area of tourists”, “”I dont want to travel very far to get to the desitination”, “I dont want to have another vacation by the sea”.

Now counter these “dont want”  statements with what you do want. For example “I want to visit a location where there is hardly anyone around such as a national park”, “I want to travel within 5 hours of where I live”, “I want to have a vacation in a natural environment”

The above is one of many examples of how you can flip switch from what is not wanted to what is wanted and in that process more clarity emerges from the excercise.

This is a simple excersice yet very revealing.

I hope this was of value to you in some way.

You may be down on your luck with money or the state of economy is making your feel anxious and so this kicks in thoughts of lack and scarcity. All of this seems real enough yet within you is a natural place of Abundance which is even more real however it requires you to switch back to thoughts and feelings of abundance.

Abundance is more of a feeling than a thought. When you feel abundant you are connected to your natural state. So your job here is not to try to “become” abundant but realise that you already have the Abundance within you in the form of the power to re direct your thoughts towards whatever you desire.

Napoleon Hill who wrote the classic book “think and grow rich” came to the conclusion that we are already born rich from birth and it is our job to use our minds to move in the direction we want to go. It takes  discipline and a realisation that our thoughts are things and whatever we dwell on becomes more real for us.

If you take a walk in nature you will witness the natural abundance around you. How many blades of grass are in a field?

Just like nature we come from the same Source. Unfortunately the news and media tell us something quite different.

Perhaps it is time to switch off the news and refrain from reading the newspapers and start appreciating what you have, what you have had and will have. Start small and slowly build up that feeling of abundance that is your natural right to experience.

Abundance is your natural state – just keep reminding yourself of that when it all seems like a challenge.

There is a tremendous power in the process of asking questions. Questions hook the mind.The key is to ask the right kind of questions not only with others but also towards yourself.

When I coach clients I hear comments like “why am I so unlucky with partners?” or “Why am I always investing in the wrong area?”. What do you think these kinds of questions elicit?

When I consider these questions  I can just imagine unlucky situations with partners or feeling scared about making the right investment in case I get it wrong again.

Remember, questions hook the mind. What you say to yourself you become.

Asking questions from a resourceful place can literally change your life. Like “What is good about the fact that I have not found the right partner yet?” This questions then elicits “good” aspects like:

I am enjoying my freedom before I meet the right partner. I have realised what I don ´t want in a partner and now I am focusing on all the great things I want in a partner. It could be that its been a blessing rather than “bad luck” so far before my ideal partner shows up. Get the drift?

So asking questions that elicit  supportive or positive responses helps you to change the way you think and feel and when you change the way you think and feel gradually the world out there shifts based on the stories and scenarios you are painting within your mind.

I believe that nothing has meaning except the meaning I give it. I choose to create a meaningful life based on stories and life situations that support and help me in my journey and asking the right questions are part of this important process of growth and happiness.

Remember, you become your questions.

Recently I have been giving my power away to a whole host of excuses for not getting on with my life and projects.  As a result I have made a study into this to begin to undo these habits one by one.

All excuses are mental habit patterns formed in the subconscious. When they are given power by our our thinking they grow and grow and then these very excuses can take us out in whatever project we care to start.

As a result we see life as a struggle and see the Universe as against us as opposed to for us. What really is happening is that the thinking habits which manifest in the form of excuses are the things against us and so we struggle.

Life is 100% for each of us and this is an important insight to begin the excuses clearing process.

Here are a few excuses…

I am too old, I have left it too late, the economy is bad and so there are no opportunities out there, I always seem to be unlucky, this is too difficult, it will take me too much time and so on.

Now Think of one excuse you have been putting up with.

What would life be like if that excuses is no longer a part of your life?

How would you feel if this excuse was no longer in your life?

What options lay before you as you imagine you are free of this excuse?

Perhaps you can ponder these questions and write down some thoughts around imagining the excuse you have is no longer operating and you can see with new eyes.

Begin to imagine life without excuses and enjoy the ride.

Are you willing to change? When I am confronted with this question my initial answer is “sure”, however, when I dig a little deeper I realise that there are excuses and resistance running wild that need to be identified and released.

Whether it is a job change, a health change, a relationship or a change in my finances or just the decision to take full responsibility for my circumstances it all  starts with a willingness to change.

I may not be ready to change something or I may have resistance to change an aspect of my life. However, for any change to take place there has to be a willingness to take back any blame for what may or may not have happened and that also means not blaming oneself.

For example,  I made  a property investment a few years ago and soon after spent alot of time blaming myself and the real estate agent for advising me in the wrong way as the property prices did not go up as I expected.  However, as soon as I gave up the blame game and took full responsibility for this and was willing to see this differently things shifted and within a couple of months I sold the property  in spite of the housing market down turn.

It started with a willingeness to change and take responsibility and from there my energy shifted in a supportive and positive way. My behaviour and actions reflected in this decision.

This whole process can start by making a sincere declaration such as “I am willing to change this”.  Say it in the mirror for 5 minutes and with conviction and intensity.  Say it with heart.

Let go of the outcome and be willing to change your thoughts or actions about whatever you are want to change in your life.